As lifespans increase, our elders grow in number, and government elder benefits become more politically tenuous, the need for empathetic family elder caregivers keeps increasing.
Seniors crave their independence and a sense of place. Almost all wish to remain in their own homes and to “age in place.” Being independent in your senior years benefits everyone. However, if aging brings illness, professional home caregiving may be unaffordable, says The Winston-Salem Journal in the article “Who will help me to age in place?”
Even though they want to remain independent, family member participation may be necessary for this to happen. Family caregivers may live with aging parents, serving as guardians, trustees or power of attorney agents on their parent’s behalf. They may perform many tasks, including cooking, cleaning and monitoring their medical or home care. They may take care of the home and take aging parents on outings.
Loyalty to aging parents runs the gamut, from daily contacts and living together, to children who vanish as soon as they are financially independent. While our biology may dictate that close family members are genetically predisposed to care for us most, it’s not everyone’s experience.
If your goal is to have parents, children and grandchildren all spend time together as the generations move through their lives, the time to start is while you are parenting. The most important thing you can do to increase the likelihood of having family members who value each other and care for each other, is to raise children with love and kindness.
You should limit the amount of time that children spend with electronic devices. Making family connections and teaching caregiving skills within the family, requires time and attention. Teach your children empathy and caregiving through gardening, caring for plants and pets and letting them see how you take care of siblings, parents, grandparents, friends and the less fortunate through volunteer work.
Our children learn more from what they see, than what we say. By teaching your children to respect and care for those they love, you will be creating a family legacy based on your values. This will be as much a part of them, as any inheritance you can leave them.
Part of caregiving is taking care of the legal and financial side of your life. Ensure that your family members have an estate plan in place, including a will, financial power of attorney and health care power of attorney. Caregiving for others involves preparing for the ups and downs of life. This shows your children that there are things we do for ourselves and for others that make life easier for those we leave behind. It is an important life lesson for each generation.
Reference: The Winston-Salem Journal (March 5, 2019) “Who will help me to age in place?”
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